Laid off. That would be a phrase that I never thought would describe me. I work hard, I'm punctual, I dress well, I'm fun to be around... not to mention that I have legitimate talent!
But, as I find myself in the first half of the first week since a lay off became my reality, I'm now a part of the club. Lay offs aren't just for lazy employees, or people who don't care about their jobs. It can happen to anyone, courtesy of the sucky economy.
It was 4:30 on the last Friday of 2010 when the phone rang at my desk. I was called to a meeting in the HR director's office, and there sat my supervisor. I was asked to come in, and shut the door. My mind was immediately racing - "..are they serious?" "...can they do this?" "...they NEED me!" - but, calm and composed, I sat down at the round table of darkness and crossed my legs. My supervisor - let's call her BS, for short - said something lame like "I suppose you may know why you're here?" Why I'm here? It's 4:30, on a Friday, before the New Year... I have a pretty good idea, though I don't understand why! My response? "I have an idea, though I'd like to hear it from you."
BS: "As you know, early January is scheduled to bring you a significant pay raise. On top of it, you're pushing to take the creative department in a direction that I... I mean WE... aren't sure we're ready for."
Me: "No, you had it right the first time. YOU aren't sure you're ready for. And it's ok... it's business, and I appreciate the opportunity."
BS: "Moving forward in 2011, we're moving in a different direction. I'm going to leave you here with HR to be engaged in an exit interview. Please be honest in your answers, and best of luck in the future."
Really? That's it? That's IT? Alright. I can do this. I can handle this. Breath. Keep breathing. Smile, don't cry, and answer the questions honestly and directly.
I did, and I didn't, and then that was it.
So... now what? I'm filled with emotions that range from anger and embarrassment to excitement and motivation. Was my previous place of employment my dream job? Not by a long shot. In fact, I was using it as a stepping stone for new experiences and a better salary, and that was all.
Angry and embarrassed? Yes, I'd say those are obvious feelings.
Excited and motivated? Yes, because maybe the next position I find will be THE job... the one that I want to stay in forever. The one that pays me loads of money to do what I love to do. Or, at the very least, perhaps it will be a position that I don't dread walking into every Monday morning.
I work in the creative field - most recently in advertising and marketing, though I believe I have the talent and abilities to work anywhere that a creative is needed.
But is working for someone else really my dream job?
Here's what I currently know. I'm engaged to be married - a late 20-something with drive and ambition, and a ridiculously encouraging husband-to-be. I know that I need an income, and had grown quite comfortable with the paycheck I was earning at my last position.
Is now the time to start something on my own? Could this be Fate's way of telling me to DO this?
Follow my journey in deciding my future career moves.
